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I doubt whether most martial arts training halls, be they Goju Ryu or Mixed Martial Arts or Jujitsu or whatever, have ever had a crazy guy in their school like Mud Car. We called him Mud Car because that’s what his license plates on his automobile stated. That vehicle, more than just about anything else, told the story of Mud Car.

He had attached parachute webbing across the insides of his car because he felt that that material was most excellent for holding his auto together on the inside. He had fire extinguishers screwed to every surface. He had a dial on his dash to give extra juice to his brake lights, and he turned it whenever he faced away from the sun so that drivers behind him could see when he braked.

This was all surface stuff, though. The most impressive thing that Mud Car did was memorize the times of all the traffic lights in San Jose. He could traverse that large town without ever hitting a stop light.

Unfortunately, when it came to the karate, he was just as crazy. He couldn’t stretch his limbs, couldn’t control what his body was going to do, and, because of this lack of control, it hurt to work out with him. Just being in his presence you could feel the firecrackers in his mind exploding into the universe.

One day, in class, he interrupted the instructor to complain about a pain in his shin. “It doesn’t hurt, but it keeps bothering me, do you know how to make the pain in my shin go away?” My instructor looked at me with rage in his eyes, I suppose he didn’t want to look at Mud Car because he would murder him, and he said, “Hit your leg with a lead pipe…that’ll make the pain go away.”

I suppose the ability to drive other people insane is the deciding point in this matter of whether a person is goofy or not. Because of this Mud Car never made it to Black Belt. He just didn’t have the mental maturity that is the mark of a black belt.

One day, however, a new sensei took over the training hall, and Mud Car was promoted to Black Belt within a short time…and then he left the training hall. He had gotten what he wanted, and the new instructor knew that was the best and most efficient way to get rid of Mud Car. But the truth is…I missed Mud Car.

He was nuts, but so is the guy who goes after you on the mean streets, so if you could last a session with Mud Car without getting hurt, you knew your art was working. Furthermore, there was a shift of standard here, for Mud Car had been promoted to black belt because he could drive people nuts, not because he was a competent martial artist. Finally, I think that is where the True Art started disappearing from the martial arts training halls of America…schools, even dojos like classical hung gar or Parker Kenpo or classical Aikido, did not administer soothing discipline to the insane, they just promoted them to get rid of them.

If you want to go crazy through the martial arts…drop on by Punch ‘Em Out. If you want to go sane through the martial arts…try Monster Martial Arts. 3

Tags: aikido, fitness, gung fu, hung gar, isshin ryu, karate, kenpo, kung fu, okinawan karate, self defense, shito ryu, shotokan, sil lum, Sports, wudan

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 12th, 2010 at 1:24 am and is filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.